What would Jesus do?

During this time of trial and pain for our nation, I've seen countless people's status on Facebook or updates on Twitter bashing the bombers of the Boston Marathon and saying how they want them dead, tortured, etc.  

There are few couple things that are hard for me to accept about this:

The first is that my initial reaction is to think that way.  The second is that I know I shouldn't react that way.  The third is that I want so badly to be able to reach out to those who think that way and tell them why I don't think that way, instead of them instantly judging me because of my views towards it.  

I'm not going to apologize in advance for what I'm about to say because I think it needs to be said.  And maybe it'll be a wake up call for you, too, to start to examine your views and how you look at these kinds of things.  

I'll start with this statement:  I'm not perfect, and I'm not claiming to be.  I still feel feelings of anger towards those who have hurt me from time to time, but I'm learning to move past those things in order to glorify the Lord in the work He's doing in my life, and to be able to do as Jesus did, and that was to love and forgive.

No matter what.

Hard to grasp?  I agree.  There are times that I don't want to even think about loving someone who's done wrong to me.  I don't want to think about forgiving and praying for people who cause hurt to our nation.  I don't want to think about what Jesus would do.  Sound familiar?  It's because it's a natural human reaction.  Jesus was human in body (Philippians 2:7) but was one with God and the Holy Spirit, therefore, rejected every temptation that came to Him.  He was perfect.  

So the next time you struggle with the thought of forgiving someone because of something, no matter how bad it was, try to remember what Jesus did for you, and for every single one of us.  The cross is proof of love.  It's proof of a love that we're supposed to portray to those who need it the most.  

http://brandanrobertson.com/blog1/2013/4/20/the-offensive-grace-of-god-dzhokhar.html

Late night love.

This is nothing deep or profound, simply me giving thanks for the ones in my life that I often don't give enough credit to.  

I realized tonight that I take for granted the people in my life who have helped me get to where I am today.  I never take the time to stop and remember how the Lord has used them to bring me here.  People like Elisha, Becca, Katie, Emily, Mallory, Macy, Bethany, Kathryn, and so many more.  They've all played a uniquely significant role in the life I now live in Christ.  

I want to live daily in the knowledge and remembrance of how the Lord has worked in and through my life, and the people He's used along the way.  Because I know I wouldn't be where I am today without their love and prayer.  

There is an insurmountable joy I gain from realizing, remembering, and being thankful for these beautiful people.  My Father provides me with so much more than I could ever dream of.  

And for that, I am thankful.  

What kind of love?

There aren't many times in life that I'm moved to being speechless. But tonight - right now - is one of them.
Thinking about Easter and the sacrifice Jesus gave for me is overwhelming. What kind of love does that? Wears a crown of thorns? Endures that pain? That's some crazy love.
And I come to the realization that I would be nothing and nowhere without this love. And I am nothing and going now where without this love. And I have nothing without this love.
But with this love. I am something. My life has purpose. I matter. In the eyes of Jesus, I am a precious daughter of the living God.

Sin Alone

This is a poem I wrote last night while thinking about life.  It's kind of, in a way, inspired by John 20:24-31, and if you want to know how, or why,, just ask me and I'll explain.  :)  Enjoy.  

"Sin Alone"

My doubtful ways return to me
and my heart fills with unease.  
The joy of the Lord escapes from me; 
His hope, it will not please.  

I claim since I can't see Him, 
or feel the wounds upon His body lay, 
that His joy is not deep, His love not true; 
that His grace can't move my heart to pray.  

I convince myself He's not enough, 
and that I don't need His help; 
His heart longs for my return, 
His soul, my pain it felt.  

And I glance into the future, 
unsure of where it leads.  
The road is hazy, the forest dark; 
I fill my day with deeds.  

But all at once I remember 
why my spirit fell; 
and I look to the One, my Savior; 
in His hands, my life He held.  

My sin is the scars from the nails in His hands, 
the crown of thorns He wore.  
I put Him on the cross that day; 
my punishment He bore.  

So I lift my eyes back to Jesus
and let myself be held
by the One who gave His life for mine
and reminds me "It is well."

Live Life on Purpose - Our Journey (Part 1 of a 4 part series)

So I'm not one to normally do a "series" of blog posts, but I'm going through a book called "Live Life on Purpose" by Claude Hickman, and it helps me to process and really soak in things I've learned by blogging about them.  So you, my followers, get the sweet pleasure of hearing my rambling over this fantastic book.  I will also include a separate post, over the same section of the book, that has my favorite quotes from that section, since I don't want to fill up this part with those, but want you guys to experience the extreme wisdom that went into the writing of this gem.  

The first part of this book, if you can't tell from the title of this, is call "Our Journey."  I'll be honest-I started out this book being all like, "Yeah, I guess I'll read it, it should be pretty cool..."  But describing this book as "pretty cool" is only touching the tip of the iceberg.  It's filled with such Godly wisdom and truth, and I highly encourage everyone to read it at some point in time.  I'd be more than willing to let you borrow it, if you'd be okay with lots of highlights and writing in it!  
Anywho, like I said, this book...wow.  So good.  I'm only in the second section, but have already been convicted to the core about not only the life I'm choosing to live, but also with the status of our world and what Believers today view as the truth and their motivation for what they do.  
As people, and being made human, we all have a desire to make our mark on the world.  We long to find our purpose in life, and learn to live for that purpose and not let anything get in our way.  This passion, this deep-rooted yearning, is given to us by the One who created us and knows us better than anyone ever will.  
My question for those of you reading, though-is your passion really from the Lord?  
I ask this, because I know I've been led astray before.  I've followed things that I thought were good and true, and they ended up at a dead-end, with not much to offer me.  That's not to say they were completely put to waste, because I do believe that we have the opportunity to  learn from every mistake or poor decision in life.  They are what build our foundations of who we are and show us what is truly good to live, and die for.  

But then there's those of us who fear that what we choose will be the wrong choice.  
How do we know if it's right?  
How do we know if it's really from the Lord?  
How do we know that we won't be let down with our decision?  
Life is a journey, it's one that won't come without loss.  We're going to make the wrong choice, there will be times when we're unsure of the Lord's plan for our lives, and there will be times that we're let down.  It's a part of life.  It's something that's unavoidable.  
But there will come a time; a time when it clicks, and you know that your passion and purpose that you're living out is right.  You won't know how exactly you know, and you may not know how you got to that point, but you'll know.  And it'll feel so good and so right that there won't be anything that can stop you from pursuing and fulfilling the Lord's will and plan for your life.  

But until then, we have to trust.  We have to be faithful in our pursuit of the Lord and His will for our lives.  We can't let ourselves get discouraged, and we surely can't give up.  He calls us to persevere and to lean on His strength, not our own, in order to live a fruitful life.  

So what do we do when we realize we're on the wrong path?  That's something I used to struggle with constantly.  I'd be unsure, and I'd just tell myself to stick it out until the end of whatever commitment it was that I had gotten myself into.  I'd remind myself that it would be over soon.  And sometimes, that's okay.  Sometimes that's our role, and we're called to finish that, though it may not be right, and wait for where He will lead us next.  
But then, there is another circumstance.  One that will likely always be uncomfortable.  There will be times when you just know.  You know that where you're at isn't where you're supposed to be, and you can't go on.  You have to change then and there.  It will be painful and it will be hard and it will take courage, but knowing that you've done the right thing in the eyes of the Lord will make it easier, though it may seem crazy to the people around you.  But something I've learned is that I can't live to please those I love.  Yes, I value and cherish their opinion, but I've got to follow His calling on my life in order to truly live.  

Listening to Him and being faithful in your convictions in where and when you're supposed to be move is pleasing to the heart of God.  He delights when His children listen and obey Him, despite what those around them may be telling them.  Change may be suck at times, but it will always be worth it.  

Pieces of the puzzle.

"Each of our lives is like a unique puzzle piece.  You were born into an old, boring, black and white picture.  When you became a Christian, God plucked out out of that kingdom of darkness to bring you to the kingdom of the Son.  He made your puzzle piece into a new creation.  God shaped and painted you into a beautiful, new design and color, with a specific place in mind for you to fit.  You are now a color piece made for a new full-color picture.  'For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them' (Ephesians 2:10).  Paul used the word pioema, a word that can mean God's 'workmanship,' or even God's 'work of art.'  You were created to be a small part in the masterpiece mosaic of God.  We have a specific place in the big picture of His kingdom work; a destiny that we were meant to fill.  The Christian life is the story of a journey.  We are travelers on a road that has a beginning and more importantly a destination.  The journey wasn't created for you; you were created for the journey.  That is where you fit.  God formed you and blessed you so that you could live to use your talents, skills, abilities, and resources on the tracks of where He is heading.  Only when we see all that God is doing, and place our lives obediently into submission to the cause, do we begin to find the most delight in who we are created to be.  We can be ourselves-a unique, colorful, and specially designed piece.  We fit."

-From "Live Life on Purpose" by Claude Hickman

We are here for a purpose.  Nothing happens that is out of the line of God's plan - even the bad things we experience.  Our God is bigger than our worries, our doubts, our fears, and our insecurities.  We are His workmanship.  In His eyes, we are free - from sin and from our longing for things that this world surely can't satisfy.  Because we are His.  And in Him, we find purpose and calling for our life.  

Finding myself.

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -Mahatma Gandhi

I've heard a lot of Gandhi's quotes before, but surprisingly I hadn't heard this one before about an hour ago.  

Holy.  Cow.  

I've always been the type of person who enjoys helping others and doing what I can to help them be the best person that they can be, even if it means sacrificing something I want to be doing.  Another's needs are often greater than my wants.  Because I see a need as something vital to a person's life, something that is essential to their growth and survival.  And a want is something I can live without, something that, in the long run, doesn't matter.  

My life is not my own.  I'm called to serve, to love.  To give my life to others; to serve the least of these.  

So how am I going to do that?  I don't know quite yet.  But join me on this crazy journey, and you'll find out as I discover where the Lord is calling me.  

Brittani

Encouraged.

I just merely wanted to share some songs that have encouraged my heart lately.  Enjoy.  

Called Me Higher-All Sons & Daughters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGDVlOKoOoE

Two Hands-Katy McAllister
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGEQM-F_Lx8

Oceans-Hillsong United
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw

Worth It All-Meredith Andrews
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP_tNd-Di4g

Furious-Jeremy Riddle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_607cloIEv0

Who You Are-JJ Heller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8jilr8qsYU

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again-Phillips, Craig & Dean
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfgu6tW8Lg8

We Are Blesssed-All Sons & Daughters
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpjTMIeZ3EI

Already There-Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrOotpSKOX0

Rooftops-Jesus Culture
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-gLdIO5G-Q

Scandal of grace.

This is the title of one of my new favorite songs from Hillsong United's new album, "Zion".  But the title will kind of go along with what I'm going to babble on about today.  

If you're familiar at all with the Bible, you're probably familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter that talks all about love.  It's often read at weddings as a testament to what couples hope to exemplify in their marriage.  

But I heard something about a year or so ago that makes me look at this chapter in an entirely different way.  

Throughout this chapter, it describes love as having all of these characteristics.  

Patient.  
Kind.  
Does not envy.  
Does not boast.  
Always protects.  
Always trusts.  
Always hopes.  
Always perseveres.  

These are things that I'm sure we all hope for in not only our current or future marriage, but also in our friendship with those around us.  

But here's something to think about.  Put in your name for the word "love" throughout this chapter.  Dang.  I don't know about you, but this is convicting.  There isn't an instance I can think of where I hold all of these characteristics.  Yes, off and on, but I fail.  A lot.  And it sucks, but I know it's a learning process through it all.  

But now, think about something else for me.  Put in "God" for the word "love" throughout this chapter.  Now how does that make you feel?  This is everything I've always hoped to be, but know I can't.  But knowing that I have a God who holds all of these qualities and never fails to display them in and through my life is so encouraging.  

Despite the fact that I will fail time and time again to display these things in my life, God never will.  He never fails.  He never changes (James 1:17).  Rest in that truth today, and every day, as you're comforted by the Father of all our fears, worries, doubts, mistrust; because He's also the Father of our joys, triumphs and peaceful moments.  

The mess of it all.

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird:  it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.  We are like eggs at present.  And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg.  We must be hatched or go bad."  

This quote really stuck out to me tonight as I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, and my good friend Macy posted it.  Here's why.  

When I think about this "season" of my life I'm in right now, with school, the thoughts of my future looming day after day, and trying to be content where I'm at, there are things I know I need to change.  My attitude is that of "I'm almost done with school, I'm sick of it, and I just want to give up on it at times."  I'm not progressing in what I'm really in school for.  

I'm staying as an egg.  I'm not letting myself mature.  I'm thinking I'm just this decent being that will be okay with how I am now.  But, that's definitely not the case.  This attitude consumes my thoughts at times, and it's so harmful to not only me, but occasionally the people I come in contact with at the wrong time and have the unpleasant occurrence of having to deal with me at that specific point in time.  

I need to learn how to fly.  I need to learn how to be content with where I am and not let these thoughts of "I'm not good enough" and "I just want to be DONE" consume me day-to-day.  I need to break free.  

I was just reading for my trauma and traumatic stress class on terror and it's effects over our lives (after traumatic experiences).  Though I've never been through anything as terrible as war or rape, there are things that have happened in my life that have had a significant impact on who I am today, and are things that I am probably, in a way, still healing from.  I'm going to share a quote and then my thoughts on how that connects with this.  

"The patient did not 'allow himself to think' about the meaning of his symptom, for to do so would have brought back all the pain, terror, and rage..." 

Y'all, we all deal with things.  Some worse than others.  These things can bring us to our knees in pain, despair, and hopelessness.  But if we don't have the courage to confront these feelings and seek healing and hope from resources and those around us who love and care deeply for us, things just won't get better.  You have to learn to accept that it will take time.  Healing is not just a "one and done" type of thing.  It'll take re-living those memories, those moments, those broken parts of your past that you just don't want to think about, and realizing why they affected you so much, and going from there.  Seek help, if you need it.  That's what those people are there for.  And for most of them (I'm hoping), they long to see people get better, and are trained to help you do specifically that.  

So:  Seek.  Hope.  Re-build.  Pray.  Have confidence.  Be vulnerable.  Live like nothing has ever hurt you, but keep the lessons from what did.  And love.  Love with all of your heart.  Because that love will come back to you when you most need it.